So lately, I have been going through a cleaning faze, friendship wise, that is. If I am getting a divorce, I might as well get rid of all the garbage. Sadly enough, I am realizing, I have a lot of garbage, physical and emotional. Crazy thing is, I am so excited to put it on the curb. Normally, I would be sad and nostalgic, but not this time. For some reason, I am thrilled over purging all my baggage. I am ready to start over! For so long I have been lugging these metaphorical suitcases behind me, and it is getting tiresome. I am ready to leave them on the side of the road and catch the next bus, or walk for that matter.
This past week, I am loosing a friend. Maybe, if it was a different time in my life, I wouldn't loose him. But right now, I am incapable of his bullshit. Unfortunately, I am who I am, and I am where I am, and I can not stand for this melodramatic, highschoolish behaviour. Our friendship after ten years is more than than that, I am better than that, and I did nothing wrong. In saying that, I feel like at the age I am, I should only be having adult relationships that offer me pleasure or growth, not turmoil and stress.
Before I ramble on and turn this into a bitch fest, I will stop and say this. Be the best friend you can be, love who you love, and dance til you get sweaty!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Talk is cheap Mr. Big!
Tonight, I had a long talk with a girlfriend. Her and I have parallels, that are uncanny, as different as we are, there are an abundance of similarities and for that, as other reasons, our bond is unbreakable.
In saying that, we, as many other woman in our age group, we have a Mr. Big. The man that you loved more than any other, the one that you knew might only break your heart, but you hoped, like you have never hoped before, that he didn't. For years, you are there, trying to prove yourself, hoping he realizes, that you are the one, that loves him more than any other, the one who is accountable, reliable and trustworthy of his love.
As woman, men may think we are needy, but really, just give us that inch, a text message that asks about our day, or better yet, just comment on our lame facebook status, all we are doing is reaching out, hoping someone will respond, better yet, you.
Anyways, my sweet girl, finally had enough of her Mr. Big, after seventeen years. She realized she was better than reaching out and not being responded to. Her requests were not unachievable, all she needed was acknowledgement, a little bit of understanding and compassion. She wasn't asking for roses or a diamond ring. China patterns were not being picked out, all she wanted was a friend.
How often do we as woman, settle for less than a friendship, in the hopes that they realize we are cool enough and decide we are the best things that ever happened to them.
I have enough girlfriends to know, that it is really the simple things that matter. Yes, we all grew up watching or listening to fairy tales, but we also grew up knowing that doesn't really exist. Our perfect relationship is someone sending us a text message to ask us about a day, and maybe a sexy sweet dreams wish before we fall asleep. If a man responds to a woman's connection and maybe even sends out a greeting all on his own, phenomenal.
Not asking for much. But the point of my longwindedness, is this, first of all, so proud of my friend, she stood up for her needs, even though it was hard and because she really didn't want too. She wanted to be with this man til the end of time. But she stood up for herself, and for her heart, she said, I wanted more and I deserve it. Secondly, we all do this, we get comfortable, maybe we expect things to evolve on their own or maybe we don't feel worthy or capable for anything deeper. But we wait for it to happen, we hope and dream for it to happen. The funny thing is at first, the dreams are big. Oh, I want to marry him, then six years later, we say, Oh, I am fine with being his girlfriend, then eventually, we just want him to ask us out when he is with his friends.
I guess, we all need to take a look at our relationships and make sure they are what we need. If you need more, stand up for your self. If you are satisfied, stop complaining.
In saying that, we, as many other woman in our age group, we have a Mr. Big. The man that you loved more than any other, the one that you knew might only break your heart, but you hoped, like you have never hoped before, that he didn't. For years, you are there, trying to prove yourself, hoping he realizes, that you are the one, that loves him more than any other, the one who is accountable, reliable and trustworthy of his love.
As woman, men may think we are needy, but really, just give us that inch, a text message that asks about our day, or better yet, just comment on our lame facebook status, all we are doing is reaching out, hoping someone will respond, better yet, you.
Anyways, my sweet girl, finally had enough of her Mr. Big, after seventeen years. She realized she was better than reaching out and not being responded to. Her requests were not unachievable, all she needed was acknowledgement, a little bit of understanding and compassion. She wasn't asking for roses or a diamond ring. China patterns were not being picked out, all she wanted was a friend.
How often do we as woman, settle for less than a friendship, in the hopes that they realize we are cool enough and decide we are the best things that ever happened to them.
I have enough girlfriends to know, that it is really the simple things that matter. Yes, we all grew up watching or listening to fairy tales, but we also grew up knowing that doesn't really exist. Our perfect relationship is someone sending us a text message to ask us about a day, and maybe a sexy sweet dreams wish before we fall asleep. If a man responds to a woman's connection and maybe even sends out a greeting all on his own, phenomenal.
Not asking for much. But the point of my longwindedness, is this, first of all, so proud of my friend, she stood up for her needs, even though it was hard and because she really didn't want too. She wanted to be with this man til the end of time. But she stood up for herself, and for her heart, she said, I wanted more and I deserve it. Secondly, we all do this, we get comfortable, maybe we expect things to evolve on their own or maybe we don't feel worthy or capable for anything deeper. But we wait for it to happen, we hope and dream for it to happen. The funny thing is at first, the dreams are big. Oh, I want to marry him, then six years later, we say, Oh, I am fine with being his girlfriend, then eventually, we just want him to ask us out when he is with his friends.
I guess, we all need to take a look at our relationships and make sure they are what we need. If you need more, stand up for your self. If you are satisfied, stop complaining.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Everyone needs some sex!
How is it that every day is the same and yet different. I go through the same routine. Wake up to two three year old touching my face and letting me know what trouble they have already gotten into. I give myself a minute to process and crawl out of bed to deal with whatever mess needs to be cleaned up. Every day it is differant, but yet the same. And so is my life, every day there is something I need to tackle, different, yet the same.
I wonder if this is my life. Motherhood, without sex or a man cuddling me while I watch a chick flick in the hopes of sex. Now, I can watch all the chick flicks motherhood will allow, minus the cuddles and definitely without the sex.
This leads me to my next point. If I was a man, I would be going out, meeting girls and getting laid. Even if the latter was an option for me I cant do that, I am a lady. Sex is not something I should be having, that would make me a slut. And apparently according to Oprah, I shouldn't be having orgasms either.
I don't get it. I cant have sex with a man cuz I don't want my number to get bigger. But I cant date, cuz I am not in a position to have the time for that right now. So what am I stuck with, B.O.B. (battery operated boyfriend)
And men freak out over a sexually active woman. Heaven forbid a woman just wants to get laid once in a while. They are afraid that we might fall in love and then they wont be able to get rid of us. Or maybe it is because we become sluts after we sleep with a man that isn't committed to us.
And so I end my double standard rant. Cant we all just have sex and not be judged! It is proven that a sexually active person is happy, hell, the seventies were based on it.
I wonder if this is my life. Motherhood, without sex or a man cuddling me while I watch a chick flick in the hopes of sex. Now, I can watch all the chick flicks motherhood will allow, minus the cuddles and definitely without the sex.
This leads me to my next point. If I was a man, I would be going out, meeting girls and getting laid. Even if the latter was an option for me I cant do that, I am a lady. Sex is not something I should be having, that would make me a slut. And apparently according to Oprah, I shouldn't be having orgasms either.
I don't get it. I cant have sex with a man cuz I don't want my number to get bigger. But I cant date, cuz I am not in a position to have the time for that right now. So what am I stuck with, B.O.B. (battery operated boyfriend)
And men freak out over a sexually active woman. Heaven forbid a woman just wants to get laid once in a while. They are afraid that we might fall in love and then they wont be able to get rid of us. Or maybe it is because we become sluts after we sleep with a man that isn't committed to us.
And so I end my double standard rant. Cant we all just have sex and not be judged! It is proven that a sexually active person is happy, hell, the seventies were based on it.
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