Perimenobullshit

So this last month, I found out I am perimenopausal.  Which, essentially means I am fucked.  I was already crazy, but now I have even more hormones running through my body, just incase I wanted to prove otherwise. 

The good thing is, that explains a little bit of the weight gain that is forming around my belly, and the emotions that I am feeling.  I guess I no longer need to feel like the psycho bitch that I was beginning to feel like.

But the bad thing is, I feel like a psycho.  I struggle with controlling my irrationality and all the emotion that comes with it. 

I can't sleep to save my life, and I cant sort through my emotions enough to save it. 

I am trying to be a decent mom, not even good, just decent, but I feel so spent by the time I put my kids to bed that I fall asleep from exhaustion.

I don't want my daughters to suffer because I have problems, but shit, can someone help me deal with my emotions?

I am not yet dwelling in crazy town, just expressing my overwhelming feelings of not being enough.

This is all I got!

So I have had two almost four year olds, sick for days.  I am beyond the exhausted that I was days ago.  I am frazzled, alone and stretched farther than I ever intended to be.

Not much energy to blog, but here is my song of this very late night.  I should be in bed, but I just lay there awake and thinking about shit, and that does nothing but keep me even more awake.

Blah, blah here is my song of the night.

Answer me this!

Who has never fallen in love with the wrong person. 

We know they are bad for us, or atleast we know they are not good for us. 

When it is good, it is great.  But when it isnt great, it is nothing. 

How do we keep away from them, how do we protect our hearts? 

We want them even though we know that we shouldn't.

Does the great out way the negative?