Monday, July 16, 2012

Perimenobullshit

So this last month, I found out I am perimenopausal.  Which, essentially means I am fucked.  I was already crazy, but now I have even more hormones running through my body, just incase I wanted to prove otherwise. 

The good thing is, that explains a little bit of the weight gain that is forming around my belly, and the emotions that I am feeling.  I guess I no longer need to feel like the psycho bitch that I was beginning to feel like.

But the bad thing is, I feel like a psycho.  I struggle with controlling my irrationality and all the emotion that comes with it. 

I can't sleep to save my life, and I cant sort through my emotions enough to save it. 

I am trying to be a decent mom, not even good, just decent, but I feel so spent by the time I put my kids to bed that I fall asleep from exhaustion.

I don't want my daughters to suffer because I have problems, but shit, can someone help me deal with my emotions?

I am not yet dwelling in crazy town, just expressing my overwhelming feelings of not being enough.

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