Sad Tonight

I had to hurt someone tonight.  And it is affecting me because I feel like I have been hurting people lately.

I am starting to think it is my fault.  Most days I feel like I relate better to men, some of my best friends are men, women tend to be a little more trivial, while men are pretty straight forward.  The only problem with this is, once in a while the same man who has been your friend for most of your life decides he is in love. 

What is that saying we know within two minutes if there is chemistry or not?  I guess that is where I stand, I decided right away, that you are not someone that I want to spend my life with, but that doesn't mean I don't adore you. 

Anyways, one of my guy friends I have know since I was about twelve, has decided I am the one.  Keep in mind I completely believe his "clock" is ticking, and I am comfortable, his family loves me, my family loves him, it is oh so convenient. 

The thing that sucks is that tonight, I had to tell him I wasn't the one.  It is hard for me to stand my ground, I usually like to tell people what they want to hear or just be vague and not give an opinion.  But I could tell that I needed to draw the line, and it was very hard, but necessary.

The funny thing was it made me think about my relationships that I have had. 

Maybe, there has been a man or two that needed to let me go, but didn't want to hurt me.  Is it better to be straight forward and cause a little pain, or is ignoring a text and hoping they get the point more painful. 

I know for me, it is harder for me to have the conversation, but at least it is cut and dry and we can both go on with our lives.