It is funny for the past few months, I have been faking it. I have been saying, I am OK, I have been saying everything is alright. I don't need a man, I don't need to be married. I am just fine alone in my bed.
But the truth is, I am not fine. I am scared, I am alone. I very well am better like this, but I am still worried. I don't know if I will miss being kissed or having someone hold my hand. Am I any better than a women who wants to be married and hasn't ever experienced the white dress and the ceremony.
All I want is peace.
The other day I was talking to a high school friend and he was telling me how lonely he was. And I stood here on my podium telling him that he should be happy with himself and not base his happiness on a relationship. And as much as I get the words out of my mouth, I also get that we need companionship as humans. We need to feel love and acceptance.
I wonder if I will ever feel that kiss of passion, or the feeling that someone wants you for who you are.
But, I also know I am lucky to have experienced these things already and to not be in a marriage that doesn't know me for who I am.
And to have someone know you for who you are is the best gift of all.
No comments:
Post a Comment