I have always been a dreamer, awake or asleep. During the day I dream of what could've been or what I hope for and at night, while I am sleeping my conscience takes over and lets me know how it really is. Early in my life I learned how to control my dreams. My life was drama enough, I made sure my down time in bed while I was in slumber was controlled by me and me only. I have seen a shrink since the age of five and one thing that was explored was what I was dreaming. Luckily I had a psychologist who taught me how to take control of my dreams, even if I could control nothing else. I learned how to wake myself if it all got to much or even how to divert the situation and make it more plausible for my liking, ie become invisible, be able to fly or one of my favorites be able to buy whatever I want. If I believe it, while I am dreaming, I can control it. It has helped me escape many a scarey situation, dreamwise.
The funny thing is this only applies when I am really thinking about it, when I recoginize it or if I dont have a fever. For the past year or so I have had two specific dreams, the situation always changes, but the goal is always the same. I categorize them as the "packing" and the "climbing" dreams.
The first and most often is the "packing" dreams. The situation and the objects always change but the desire to complete the goal is always the same and always stressful. In these dreams, I am packing something up, wether it is a house into a car, or a uhaul. Or just my belongings from a pic nic into a stroller. I am constantly packing, stressfully, deciding what I can take and what I can leave behind. The funny thing is that it is usually my actual items, I am litterally going through my kitchen deciding what fits into my car, what I can keep and what I can leave behind. In my dream the other day I was loading my van and loaded it up with kitchen appliances that I actually have in my possession right now and then realized I didnt have room for the two carseats that carry my twins and had to reaccess. This dream is always very stressful and there always seems to be an impending time crunch. I always complete it successfully and wake up as I am driving to God knows where.
The second dream, the "climbing" dream, involves me doing just that, climbing. The location, like the packing dreams, always changes. A lot of times it is at a museum, a mall or some type of public place. And the dream is just me trying to get to a destination, one that is not always clear, but throughout, I am just climbing over objects. I may be in a libaray, just trying to leave because I already have my books, but on my way to the door, I must climb over books and shelves, dodge people who are trying to do the same. Sometimes I am in a forest, and I am just trying to get through it, but there are trees, rocks and bushes everywhere, I am always alone and always struggling, just trying to get through. Once in a while, in these dreams there is a villian, someone I am trying to escape or be atleast a couple steps ahead of. But I am always climbing, clawing my way through with every part of my being.
The thing that amazes me is, I get it, I think. I am struggling right now, I am alone, climbing over objects that are in my way, just believing I can make it. And yes, there is the packing, deciding what matters when the clock is ticking and you dont have much time to decide.
In my dreams, I always make it, and I will do so in life as well!
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